Breaking the news

As a teacher, you may be given the task of informing a class or group of children about the death of someone they know. It may be that a classmate has experienced the death of a family member and you are responsible for preparing the class to deal with the situation. Each situation will be unique. The scenarios that follow do not cover the breadth and depth of the possible situations you may encounter.

Remember, you are not alone! There are services available to help you and your students cope. Please see the Support Services & Materials page for more information.

There are a number of scenarios you may encounter, for example:

A student at the school has died. You have been asked to speak to your class.
A student in your class has lost a parent/sibling. You have been asked to speak to your class pending the return of the student after the funeral.
A member of a student's family is terminally ill. You have been asked to speak to your class about what to expect.

In each of these situations, it is important to be open and honest with your students. The information you give them will vary according to their age and the relationships involved. Allow them the time and space to process the information.

Remember

include the students in the process - just because they are young doesn't mean don't or can't understand;
don't make up stories or use euphemisms - be straight forward so that the students can understand what has happened. Younger children take things quite literally, so euphemisms can ultimately be misleading or confusing;
show your own emotions - let the students see that it is ok to be sad and cry;
answer any questions honestly - don't be shocked or annoyed if a student asks repetitive and morbid questions and if you don't know that answer, be honest, don't just make something up.

(BBC, 2007).

Although you will naturally be concerned with the welfare and well being of your students, remember that you too are allowed to grieve. Allow yourself the time and space to work through your emotions.

What to expect

When a death takes place, it effects you and your class and anyone else that interacts with the person who experienced death. It is important to remember that everyone will react differently and a range of emotions should be expected.

Some emotions you, your class or the person who lost someone, may experience include:

Feelings of sadness, anger, denial, shock, guilt, despair and confusion;
Curiosity – students may ask a number of apparently morbid questions or ask repetitive questions about the deceased person;
Boisterous play – students may act out their feelings in their play;
Increased dependency on authority figures or care-givers – students may become anxious about being left alone, may experience insomnia, nightmares, fear of the dark and a loss of appetite;
A drop in social interactions – children may withdraw from their friends and peers and become introverted while they work through their feelings. They may loose interest in participating in social events or occasions such as birthday parties or sporting events;
Humiliation – children may be embarrassed by their emotions if they feel they are not normal.

(MHA, 2007; The Bright Side, 2007).

These feelings are normal and common reactions to loss. You or your students may not be prepared for the intensity of the reactions. Remember that these reactions are normal and healthy. Reassure your students that what they are feeling is OK, and there is nothing wrong with these feelings.